we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Found your dick twin last night
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
