honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
