Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
