i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
