guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize