there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
