I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
