Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
