He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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