i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
