But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
