for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
wow bdsm is so cute
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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