Porn is love you can see.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
