it wasn't lemon gatorade
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My vagina is very pro this idea
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
