i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
