i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
