We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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