There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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