There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
