But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
