We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
PANTIES FOUND
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