my soul wont recognize me after tonight
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
