It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
