So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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