You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
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