When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
