What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
