so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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