Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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