I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I enjoy the company of your penis
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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