O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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