So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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