You work out of a Hotel?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
