Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
