Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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