Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
