One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
