Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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