White coat. Heels.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
