He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
