I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize