where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
