i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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