I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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