nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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