Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
