I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
