so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
