so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
