If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
