I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
