I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
