Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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