I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
