Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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