It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least đ
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm always down for nudity.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I should have known it wouldnât work. Someone saved in her phone as âSubway Sexâ called the week before the wedding
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