A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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