And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
